Chapter 3: Other circumstances that may impact your grief
Recurrent pregnancy loss
It made me realize that the world is not fair. I felt like I would never wake up from under this dark cloud.
I’ve been through it twice and while the intense feelings do pass, the pain was all-consuming at the time.
At the beginning, I think I just felt shocked and disbelief that this could be happening. I had had two miscarriages already, so I thought, “Really?”
If you have had several pregnancy losses, your grief is likely to be more complicated. Particularly if you have no living children, you may experience deepening feelings of hopelessness, loss of self-esteem or identity, anger, frustration, or distrust.
Anxiety about subsequent pregnancy or pregnancies, coupled with compounding losses, can take a heavy toll on your physical, mental, and emotional health, and lead to longer-standing difficulties, such as depression.
If you have experienced repeated disappointment and grief because of recurrent pregnancy loss, it will likely take extra time for you to begin to feel better.
What may help
- Remind yourself that your losses are not your fault, and while some people may not grasp the significance of your loss, this doesn’t diminish its impact on you.
- Reach out to supportive friends and family, and to others who have experienced similar losses. Explore both local community resources and online services for support.
- If you find that your thoughts are becoming increasingly negative or despairing, seek out support/referrals from your family doctor, online support groups or services, and specialized counselling or therapy.