Chapter 2: Grief after pregnancy or infant loss

Your identity as a parent

I've been there
Zoe talks about being supported and validated in her experience as a mother.(3:22)Video transcript
Zoe explains what it is like to answer awkward questions. (3:22)Video transcript

When we lose a baby, we are still parents. The child will always be ours, and we will always talk about them. Even someone who loses their first child is still a mom or a dad. They are still the parents of that child.

When my baby died, I lost so many of the things that made me feel like me. I felt like I really needed to first learn who the new version of me was going to be. 

If you don’t have living children, you may wonder if you can think of or call yourself a parent. You may also be struggling with how to answer questions such as, “Do you have any children?”


If you were expecting a baby, or birthed a baby, it is okay to identify yourself as a parent if that is how you feel. Many parents are comforted by this, but everyone is different. Do what feels right for you.