Recognizing and understanding your grief: Chapter 1: An introduction to grief: Everyone grieves in their own way

Chapter 1: An introduction to grief

Everyone grieves in their own way

The grief expert says

Fred talks about how we all do our grieving differently. (3:22)

I've been there

Kimberley speaks about how she and her husband grieved differently.(3:22)Video transcript

There are some days I wake up and find myself struggling to even believe he died. When that happens, the sadness starts all over again.

Right after she died, I remember being at a red light and thinking, “How is it that the streetlights are working, and the restaurants are open? Everything just needs to stop for a while.”

Not everyone expresses their grief in the same way. Even those experiencing the same loss may grieve differently. They might be overcome by sorrow or anger; talk openly or close down; get “busy”; or avoid people altogether. You may feel alone in your grief if others appear to have a different response to the loss. Watch the video on the right to learn more.

What affects your grief

Many factors may impact your grief. Click on the arrows below for some examples.

Your relationship with the person who died.

The circumstances of your loss.

Your values and beliefs.

Your supports.

How you usually cope with distress, and other losses you’ve experienced.

What else is happening in your life, such as a new job; moving; separation or divorce; your physical and mental well-being; or financial struggles.

It’s not just one loss

You may experience a variety of losses with one death. These are referred to as “secondary” losses. These losses are connected to your relationship and the role the person had in your life, and the one you played in theirs. Losses may also be related to hopes, dreams, and expectations about the future.