Chapter 2: Coping with your guilt

How reasonable is your guilt?

People who are grieving often feel guilty about things they could not control. Some feel guilty about a decision that was made in good faith but turned out badly for some reason. Others struggle with a secret guilt that they cannot easily admit to others. For example, they might feel somehow responsible for the death or regret not pushing for an earlier medical appointment that may have prevented the illness. Others regret not pushing the deceased harder to attend to some business about the estate.

Understanding your guilt

You may have had unfair expectations of yourself while caring for the dying person.

What is fair to ask of yourself? Remember that doing your best to support someone at end of life is a great achievement. Perhaps it is enough.

Humans sometimes have a hard time with forgiveness. Forgiving yourself is not always easy, but it can be done and is necessary for moving forward.