The hardest part was finding out that there was a side of him that I didn’t know at all. He was a very angry person, which was not the friend I knew at all. It was hard to reconcile the friend I knew with the friend I didn’t know. I wondered what was wrong with me that I hadn’t seen all the parts of him.

Since they died, I have so many questions. The thing is, they are the only one who could answer them. 

When you are grieving someone’s death by suicide, you may face many challenges. This chapter will cover some of these, including dealing with unanswered questions, especially the “why” of what happened; being triggered; coping with daily routines and with special occasions; experiencing increased vulnerability and growth; and staying connected and finding support. You will also find information relating to when the person who died was a family member, and about some of the changes you may notice in yourself and your life. The chapter ends with information on how to care for yourself.