It’s still a work in progress. Happiness or joy, or any positive feeling is never just one feeling anymore. It’s always mixed with a little bit of something else, like guilt, longing, sadness, or “what if?” After just over a year, that’s something that I’m still navigating as we move along in this new life of ours without her.
Some of the key points covered in this module include:
- In the first days and weeks, you may have a range of thoughts and feelings, some of which may be intense or confusing.
- Although you may not be able to imagine moving forward or living with such profound grief, over time, your grief will change, but not entirely go away. In this sense, there is no “moving on,” but rather a “moving forward,” with your baby always being a part of your life.
- You may have found that your grief has not been well recognized. Finding ways to remember and honour your baby who has died can help to ensure they remain a member of your family.
- Consider seeking support from family, friends, co-workers, colleagues, and even neighbours in ways that help and work for you. Consider what you do and don’t need and what is and isn’t helpful.
- Support groups and/or professional counselling can also be helpful; just be sure to seek out the right therapist for you.
- There are many ways you can remember, honour, and memorialize your baby. Including your other children in some of these memory-making activities can also help them grieve and remember their sibling that died.
- Your loss may impact your relationships with others. There may be times when you feel that you have to be “strong” or “okay” for your partner or spouse, for your parents or close relatives, or for your friends.
- There may be other times when you need their support, which you may or may not get. Other people may be struggling with their own feelings or may not know what to say or do to help you. You may feel hurt or abandoned or pressured to get back to your “old self.”