We have a shelf in the living room with her clay foot and handprints, a teddy bear, a memory box with her birth details in it, and tons of pictures. If you walked into my house, you would know I have a daughter.

After your loss, you may or may not have had a cremation or other ceremony. This is a very personal choice, guided by personal values, tradition, culture, and religion. You may have chosen not to have any funeral or to keep it very private. You may not have realized that you “could” have had a funeral or ceremony for your baby, and now feel this as an additional loss. Whatever you chose to do is okay and needs to have been right for you.

One of the ways that you can more formally acknowledge and honour your loss is through memorialization or memory-making. This also acknowledges your continuing bond with your baby. Perhaps you had begun to imagine what your baby might have looked like or what kind of person he or she would have grown up to be.

How can memory-making help grieving families?

Watch the videos now.

Carol explains about making memories and how important this can be for grieving families. (1:07)

Carol speaks about mementos and making memories. (1:02)

What may help

• Take time to think about your baby at moments of beauty or peace in nature, such as when you see a butterfly or witness a sunrise or sunset. Such moments can help you to keep the bond and love you feel for your baby.