Chapter 4: Remembering and honouring your baby
Including children in memory-making
Not only have I become close with the moms, but our kids are also friends. They talk about their brothers and sisters that aren’t here like it’s normal, and that has really helped with their grief.
Including children in memory-making can help to bring you and your children together during a difficult time. If you are unsure about involving them in memory-making and rituals, keep in mind that these activities and remembrances are valuable opportunities for children to ask questions and talk about their thoughts and feelings. It’s often easier for children to do this while they participate in an activity with you.
Children are often extremely interested in items provided to you by healthcare providers, such as crib cards or copies of an ultrasound. You might be surprised by how well children understand the importance of these mementos and benefit from being able to talk with you about them.
Memory-making ideas with children
Even if very simple, there are many ways to honour the baby who died and help children with their grief now and as they mature through coming years.
There are also ways for your children to create or add to mementos, such as decorating a memory box, painting rocks with the baby’s name or date of birth, or making a beaded necklace or bracelet. Other activities that can incorporate the memory of your baby include inviting children to look for a bright star in the sky or for stones shaped like a heart; or to celebrate the first snowfall, a summer storm, or the prettiest fall leaf.
Keeping your baby’s memory with other children
Watch the Lived experience videos to see how Kimberley and Zoe discuss how they keep memories of their babies with their other children.