Chapter 3: As time goes on

What may help when trying again

I've been there
Zoe speaks about having a second child after Finn's death.(3:22)Video transcript

Two weeks ago, I had a very heavy week of grief. We're trying to get pregnant again and weren't successful this month. I had been feeling very confident, so it was a big disappointment and I felt so frustrated with the whole situation. I felt like we shouldn’t have to go through this again.

What may help

  • Trust that you will develop strategies to find what is most effective and supportive for you. For example, you may find that keeping busy or finding ways to distract yourself helps you to avoid overthinking; or you may find that writing your concerns down eases your anxiety.
  • If you become pregnant again, you can choose when to disclose your news according to what feels right to you.
  • Share your needs with family and friends about an appropriate time for a baby shower. You may even decide to have a celebration later, after your baby’s birth.
  • While feelings of guilt about “replacing” a pregnancy or baby are normal, remember that you can still honour your loss while hoping for a future pregnancy. You do not have to choose between these two options.

Helpful resources - Ask a professional, palliative care experts - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network (PAIL), free group and individual peer-support services offered to families across Ontario