Chapter 3: As time goes on



Thoughts of getting pregnant again

The palliative care physician says
Megan talks about how having another child after a perinatal death can stir grief for families.(3:22)Video transcript

I am at 37 ½ weeks this time. I am anticipating this birth, but I never knew at that I could have such grief and sadness, and joy and excitement all in one feeling.

This time I waited 14 weeks to tell anyone at work and even then, I did not celebrate being pregnant for a long time. I didn’t plan for the baby room or buy any baby clothes, and we didn’t try to think of any names. My therapist said, “You are protecting your heart; but if something happens again, you won’t feel any less pain.” It made all the difference to be able to live and enjoy this pregnancy.

The decision about if and when to “try again” is different for each person. You might want to try right away, or you might need more time. If you long to get pregnant again, you may have many questions and concerns. For example, you may feel anxiety and worry that "it will happen again”; or you may be waiting for test results. A common question is “Is this the right time?” You may also feel guilty, wondering if you are trying to “replace” the pregnancy or baby that you lost.


Considerations

In making your decision, you may need specialized medical support, intervention, or monitoring, but it’s important to trust your own thoughts and feelings about when and if it feels “right” to try again.

Trying again

Becoming pregnant again after a pregnancy loss is likely to stir up many strong feelings. You may feel confused by feelings of happiness mixed with sorrow. You may fear that you’ll “forget” about the baby that you lost, or you may fear that something will go wrong again.  

If you decide to go ahead, the next step is to find a healthcare provider who understands the impact of your early pregnancy or perinatal loss. It’s important that you can trust your healthcare provider to support your needs. Click to view some of these needs. 

 

Note:  Some of the options or services noted above may be impacted by restrictions in effect as a result of COVID-19.