Chapter 3: As time goes on

Feeling more like yourself

The grief does get lighter. It comes and goes. I have moved forward – I haven't “moved on.” The difference is that moving on means forgetting, while moving forward means taking the experience with you, learning from it, and maybe even doing better than before.

Each person’s grief has its own timeline, but at some point, you may realize that you are feeling more like yourself. Below are some experiences or feelings that you may have.

  •  You may still have “bad days,” but in general, the bad days will become fewer and further apart.
  •  You may notice that you have a bit more energy or can sometimes laugh.
  •  You may begin to do things that you used to enjoy, such as returning to work or the gym.
  •  You may start to spend more time with friends or “out in the world.” There may be times when you feel guilty about this.


As you begin to move forward with your life, you may be searching for ways to honour and integrate your loss so that it is part of who you are and who you will always be. Everyone is different in how they choose to do this, but it’s an important part of your healing.

What may help

  • Remind yourself that although you may be moving forward, this doesn’t mean that you’re “over it” or have forgotten your baby. Your feelings or thoughts about your loss will not simply disappear. You will likely have moments when these emotions resurface, sometimes intensely. This is normal.