Chapter 2: Finding support
From professionals and outside resources
There is so much validation in the support group. I don’t feel like I am crazy or alone. For example, buying something for a child who no longer lives isn't seen as crazy. They get it; they have done it too.
I was angry, and that can still come in waves; but it was important for me to seek support from people who related to how I felt.
Your primary healthcare provider may be able to provide support or recommend local resources. They may also be able to provide a letter to your employer, supporting a leave of absence from work.
Many parents report positive outcomes following their attendance in perinatal loss support groups. These can be facilitated by a therapist/counsellor, or peer-led by other bereaved parents. Support groups can provide reassurance that you are not alone, and that others have lived a similar experience.
Every province will have different options for support. An excellent resource to locate services in your community is through the PAIL (Pregnancy and Infant Loss) Network. *See link below.
Different therapists have different approaches and areas of specialty. It’s important to find a therapist that understands and is experienced in grief and bereavement after a pregnancy loss. Below are several tips to help you find the best therapist or counsellor for you. Click on the arrows to view.
Try online or through your local resources (your healthcare provider or spiritual adviser, for example).
You can also try through word of mouth if you know anyone who has had a similar experience.
When considering a counsellor or therapist, ask about their credentials, experience, and approach.
Use your own judgment to find a therapist you get along with and trust.
Depending on your situation, you may want to find someone who can do both individual and couple counselling.
Consider participating in a specialized pregnancy loss bereavement group, if available.
You may find that you prefer one type of
support over others. You may also find that different kinds of support help
with different aspects of your grief. Likewise, you may also find that some
types of outside support are not a good fit for you. It’s important to do what
works best for you.
*Many therapists advertise their areas of specialty on websites designed to assist families in finding the best counsellor to meet their needs (link below).