Chapter 1: Experiencing loss
When it happened
It was such a confusing and painful time. My husband and I were devastated. It truly is like your world turns upside down. Nothing makes sense. Your whole future that you imagined just shrivels up in front of you and you can’t do a thing about it.
Early pregnancy loss often happens quickly and without very much warning. If your first symptoms were pain and bleeding, you may have been at work, at home, or out in the community, either alone or with friends. Click the arrows below to see some of the ways this may have played out or impacted you.
You may have delivered your baby with little support.
You may have felt scared and vulnerable.
You may have felt numb immediately afterwards.
When you received care
Once you received care, you may have experienced other thoughts and feelings. Click on the arrows below to see what some of these might be.
You may have found the procedures to be intrusive, physically difficult, and emotionally challenging.
You may have felt very isolated or alone.
You may find that you still have many unanswered questions that that you didn’t have time to ask your healthcare provider, about what happened or about the next steps.
In addition, if this happened before you were at 20 weeks in your pregnancy, you may have felt that you and your baby were not given the same support, treated with the same importance as other families, or offered the same resources as women experiencing
a pregnancy loss after 20 weeks.
If you feel that you or your baby were somehow not treated fairly, whether by your healthcare team, the “system,” societal views, or other people, it may help to remember that you are not alone. Below are some shared experiences from other parents who experienced a prenatal loss.
"I’ve met a lot of moms through a support group. Because our losses are so similar and so recent, we've grown in our grief. Having someone to go through that with took away the isolation, the loneliness, and the 'Why me?’ because I realized it could happen to anyone."
“I used to be a journalist, so I had social media accounts, and I posted my story on there. I got an incredible number of people sharing their stories and I realized that women and their partners needed to talk about this, so I wrote an article for a magazine.”