Chapter 6: Your parent’s belongings

When you are not part of the process

I wanted my mom’s wedding dress, but my sister had thrown it away because it was old and yellowed. I was so upset. It was something I really wanted, but I hadn’t told anyone. It bothered me for a very long time.

If sorting through and giving away your parent’s belongings was done without any or with little input from you, you may find yourself feeling hurt or resentful. Your step-father may have given your favourite Christmas ornament to a friend; your sisters may have divided the kitchen items thinking that you weren’t interested; your mother may not be willing to part with any items at the moment; or all the clothing may have been given to charity without any consultation.

Try to remember that when people are grieving, they do not always take everything into account when making decisions.


What may help

It may help to gently let them know how you are feeling.

It can be helpful to talk with a grief counsellor as these hurts are often difficult to work through on your own.