Chapter 2: Your parent

Introduction

I don’t think grief ends; it just transforms over time. There is no closure. I’m going to grieve for her for the rest of my life, and I’m good with that. I think it’s a healthy thing.

While we know that everyone will eventually die, it can be hard to fully imagine how you will feel when your parent dies. Although the death of a parent is one of the most common human losses, that doesn’t make it less difficult, regardless of your relationship. It can be helpful to know that moving through grief does not mean forgetting the person nor “getting over” their death.

If you had a strong relationship with your parent, you may feel adrift without a compass. If your relationship was difficult or had periods of separation, or if perhaps they were absent much of your life, it is still normal to feel a response to this loss. Virtually all parent-child relationships have struggles along the way. Most parents try their best to meet the needs of their children but may sometimes miss the mark.

Your thoughts and feelings in grief will be greatly influenced by the relationship you had. The emotions you experience can vary in intensity and be unpredictable.

Helpful resources
MyGrief.ca - Module 2: Understanding grief