Chapter 2: Impact of your grandparent’s death on you
If your grief is not acknowledged
I don’t think my employer appreciated or understood why I needed to take the extra week off, but I had to. I was so sad, with no energy, and I couldn’t stop crying. When I went back, my boss and some co-workers seemed to look at me sideways.
Some people might suggest or imply that you should not grieve “too much” or “too deeply,” or that you should not have the feelings you have. Comments such as “I guess it was to be expected, given his age” or “At least she lived a good, long life” can suggest that your loss is not that great. This can leave you feeling very alone in your grief. You might feel angry, or you might wonder if you have the “right” to grieve.
Very often when an older person dies, people see it as part of the natural order in life. Although this is true, it does not lessen your loss or your grief.
What may help
Remind yourself that your grief is real.
Seek support from those family members or friends who can understand your grief and empathize with your loss.
If you aren’t getting the support you need, look for a support group or online resource that can connect you with others in similar circumstances, or talk with a grief counsellor.