Chapter 3: Ways your grief may be affected

Your child’s legacy

I've been there
Valerie talks about keeping her daughter in their lives and 2) Valerie talks about the loss of a child.(3:22)Video transcript
The children’s grief expert says
Lori Ives-Baine describes hand moulds made for a young girl. (3:22)Video transcript
Lori Ives-Baine describes hand moulds made for a baby.(3:22)Video transcript
Lori Ives-Baine describes a fabric hug made as a legacy item.(3:22)Video transcript

I found it helpful to find ways to memorialize and honour my son’s life and legacy. This felt empowering to me, and I experienced it as a healing salve to the feelings of helplessness.

There are different ways to think about legacy. It can be something tangible or material, but it can also be about the relationships and impact on others that a person had, both while they were living and after they died. You may want to think about all aspects of your child’s legacy – the way they lived their life; their values; the feelings they evoked in you and others; their friendships and relationships; and much more.

What may help

  • Give thought to what you understand as your child’s legacy. What was important to them? What were their “lessons learned”? What hopes did they have for their life?
  • Consider an activity, such as planting a tree or garden; getting a tattoo; writing an article or book; or creating a scrapbook, photo album, or piece of music or art.
  • You might want to join others in supporting a cause with a meaningful connection to your child by volunteering or making a donation.
The way that you choose to remember or honour your child’s legacy is a very personal choice, one that reflects your unique relationship with your child.