Chapter 3: Recognizing unrecognized grief


Even in bereavement groups, many people are intimidated by death caused by murder. Not talking about it makes us feel like outsiders.

If I talk to my mother about my dead brother, try to explain, she’s so surprised. She doesn’t realize how it affected me. She says that she had no idea.

How do you know if someone (including you) is experiencing unrecognized grief?

Certain behaviours or statements people make may provide some clues that they are not accepting, acknowledging, or recognizing someone else’s grief and feelings of loss.

There may also be certain behaviours, thoughts, or things you say to yourself that may indicate that you are not acknowledging or accepting your own grief. You may notice these same behaviours or statements in another person, suggesting they are not recognizing their own grief or loss.