Chapter 2: Why your grief may not be recognized
When the loss is related to a person’s death
I knew my friend since childhood. She was a very special person in my life, and when she died, it was hard to explain it to people. There's no word for a grieving friend or for someone who's “like family.”
I think with any infant loss, people just don't know what to say, so they don’t talk about it. It turned out that a co-worker had experienced a stillbirth of their baby six months before us and I never knew that. He never talked about it.
Most people who are grieving a death receive some degree of support and understanding from those around them. If you’re not receiving the support you need, it may be because your grief isn’t being recognized.
Click each example below to see some possible reasons.
The person was a prisoner, of a different race or religion, married to someone else, or a 2SLGBTQ+ person.
You were a care provider, ex-partner, or friend/acquaintance, or the person who died was an online friend or a celebrity.
- The person who died was elderly.
- There was a pregnancy loss (regardless of the stage or circumstances).
- A pet or animal companion has died.
You’re too young or too old, or you have an intellectual disability or dementia.
- You’re “too” emotional, or you’re unfeeling. You’ve grieved for too long or not long enough.
- You’ve kept the dead person’s possessions for too long or disposed of them too quickly.
You’re grieving future losses with someone who is dying or seriously ill.