My spouse did not want anyone to know he had an assisted death because he was afraid, they would view him as weak.

Sometimes a person or their family does not want others to know that the death was medically assisted. This might be in keeping with who they were, for example, “We’re private people” or “It’s nobody else’s business.” It may relate to the religious or cultural beliefs of friends or family. It might also be because of a fear of being judged.

You might feel at peace with keeping how the person died private. It may also make your grief more complex. This is because telling and retelling the story of the person’s death, including the circumstances leading up to and surrounding the death, is something many people find helpful in attending to their grief. Not being able to be open about how the person died can make it more challenging to move through grief.

 

What may help

Seek the services of a counsellor who specializes in grief or confide in a trusted friend who will respect your need for privacy.

Join a grief support group for people who are grieving after a MAiD death where you will find others who are living with similar experience.

Try journaling or writing about your grief. Guided journals with specific grief prompts are available through online resources or bookstores.