Chapter 2: Grieving before a medically assisted death

Helping to plan an assisted death

I've been there
Honor speaks about how the MAID process was triggered and about supporting her father and his wishes.(3:22)Video transcript
Honor speaks about her father's MAID experience and how it has changed how she thinks and speaks about life and death.(3:22)Video transcript
Kari speaks about sharing her plan for MAID with her family and friends.(3:22)Video transcript
Melody speaks about helping her sister plan for her death.(3:22)Video transcript

It’s the difference between what you know intellectually and what you hold emotionally. I knew this would end her suffering, but I was putting in motion an outcome I so didn't want.

For Mom, choosing MAiD provided a pathway for her to be freed from pain. She died on her own terms, in control and with grace.

He’d spent a fun afternoon playing with his grandsons and turned to me and said, “I want you to make the call now.” Even though I felt very prepared, it was like I had been punched in the gut, and I ran out into the backyard and sobbed.

Helping someone you care about connect with the MAiD team may have left you with conflicting emotions. You may have been grateful that they could take control and end their suffering, but you might also have been unsure how you felt about it.

If you were part of the eligibility review meetings with the MAiD team, it might have been helpful to hear the person reaffirm their choice, but it may have been emotionally draining for you.  

Click on the arrows to reveal challenging situations you may have faced:

What may help

It can be helpful to remember that the person didn’t choose to die; they chose to end their suffering and gain some control over their situation.

Look for someone who can offer you support. This might be a close friend or other family member, a faith leader, your healthcare provider, or a grief counsellor.