Chapter 1: How can I move through this loss?

Where did everyone go?

In the first few weeks after a death, people generally feel surrounded by support. Family may have flown in from distant places and neighbours stopped you on the street to express their condolences. You may have a fridge full of food brought by sympathetic friends wanting to help. Cultural and religious traditions such as Shiva have added to that sense of community support.

Then the phone calls, visits and support drop off, sometimes completely, as everyone returns to their lives and you continue yours. Friends stop calling and family go home. Your contact with the health care team - possibly a constant for many years - comes to a stop.

One day you find yourself alone in your home for the first time in weeks. Suddenly it hits you: I am alone.