Moving through grief: Chapter 1: How can I move through this loss?: Who am I now?

Chapter 1: How can I move through this loss?

Who am I now?

The grief expert says

Dr. Chris MacKinnon, psychologist, discusses loss and personal growth.(3:22)Video transcript

I have discovered new sides of myself that are a source of pride. These sides sometimes also scare me; I realize how far I have come from who I once was.

When someone close to us dies, we might discover parts of ourselves that we never knew existed. For example, you may be surprised at how strong you were in the face of difficult circumstances. Some people find they become less confident. Others become anxious and develop sleep difficulties. Sometimes death causes us to look at the world differently and re-evaluate our priorities in a way that has a positive impact on our lives. These changes embarrass some people and they feel they are failing to grieve "properly." For a few, loss takes over their life.

Questions arise about roles and relationships. Is the parent whose only child dies no longer a parent? Death does not erase the love, memories, and relationship with the person who has died. You are still a wife when your husband dies. You are still a brother or sister when your sibling dies. You remain a parent when your child dies.