Chapter 1: Caring for yourself

How can I find support?

The grief expert says
Fred Nelson, social worker, explains how to find help that works.(3:22)Video transcript

Thank goodness for my friend Sue. Her husband died a few years back and she continues to pop by a few times a week. She helped me so much by just relating to what I was going through. It gave me hope to see someone else who had experienced the death of her husband and who was now doing well again.  

People often do better when they face tragedy together. Having the chance to tell and re-tell your story to a supportive listener can be very valuable.

The person who fills this role might be an old friend, a family member, or even a new friend. People who are grieving are often surprised when a relationship that was distant before the death becomes a primary source of support afterwards.

A supportive friend:

  • Accepts you for who you are.
  • Is not quick to give advice or tell you how you "should" behave.
  • Can respectfully challenge you if you are coping in an unhealthy way.
  • Is the voice of reason and reality.