Chapter 1: Coping with your anger

Stories about coping with anger

Here are 3 stories about grieving people facing their fears.  As you read them, consider if you can use any of their coping methods.

Josefa’s storyThis was NOT supposed to happen. The health care system let my mother down so profoundly. I can feel myself starting to shake even as I say the words.

When I am calm, I can see that my anger has to do with profound disappointment. My life is not playing out according to plan and the world is looking pretty scary right now. I hate being scared. It is sometimes easier to get angry because it feels less shameful. Sometimes I see how much it is eating me up inside. 
Oliver’s storyYou won't believe how short tempered I have become. It is coming out in my driving in particular. I used to be the most courteous driver on the road and now I am so aggressive. It sometimes scares me that I may hurt someone, but it seems to be more powerful than me. I keep asking myself: how do I stop this?

I told this story to a close friend and she said that I needed to address this quickly.

When she told me that, it really got my attention. I decided to consult with a counsellor who asked me why I thought this might be happening.

Through our conversations, I came to realize that the driving was a symptom of a problem. I have always been an angry person, everyone used to say so. My anger is just much more elevated now. The counsellor helped me realize that I do have some control in how I am responding to my anger.
Seema’s storyHis death is such a waste. I can't help but feel this huge sense of frustration that this tragedy had to visit me and my family. Now I find myself slamming doors, throwing objects against walls, and even screaming. I used to be able to keep my anger inside, but I can`t seem to now.  

I think it might be pushing people away because I am scaring them, especially my kids. In my heart of hearts, I don't want to be this person.

I beat myself up after I act angry. I am working hard now to break the cycle, to try and see when I feel a big outburst coming and go outside and try to calm down. If nothing changes in the next few weeks, I am going to consult a professional.