Chapter 4: Why am I feeling this way?

How did the person die?

Our experience of grief can be affected by seeing the dying person suffer:

  • A lot of pain
  • Extreme weight loss
  • Bleeding
  • Delirium (see Module 1, Grieving an expected loss to learn more)
  • Confusion or loss of memory
  • Paranoid or angry outbursts
  • Shortness of breath
  • Emergency trips to the hospital
  • Wounds that worsen
  • Emotional distress
  • Loss of ability to move or loss of feeling in their body (paralysis)
I saw some truly difficult things in the time before his death. When will I be able to stop thinking about them and focus on the good things again?

How a person dies can strongly impact how we grieve.

You might revisit troubling scenes over and over in your mind, especially if the death was sudden. It is helpful to remember that these memories usually fade over time. If you cannot stop thinking about the person who died, speaking with a counsellor or your family doctor may help.