Chapter 3: Suggestions to Help

Continuing the bonds with the person who died

Grief changes the rest of your life. You may learn to make life more purposeful and more enjoyable, but grief is always there. However, it can become just part of the story, not the whole story.

One of the ways that you can adjust to being without the person who has died is to form a new connection or “continuing bond” with that person. Although they are no longer present in your life in the same way, you may find ways to remember and include them as you move forward.

You may also not wish to maintain a relationship with the person who died; but consider that even if your relationship was troubled, there may still be things that you learned and want to carry forward in your life. Roll your mouse over each of the boxes below to see some examples of ways to do this.

Example #1



Sharing stories and memories with others.


Example #2



Reflecting on the person’s legacy or influence in your life, no matter what that was.


Example #3




Support causes or maintain activities in their memory.






Most of the time, a continuing bond is healthy and helpful as you adapt to the changes brought about by your loss; but if thoughts about the person who died are taking up most or all of your energy, you may be suffering from prolonged grief. Consider seeking professional counselling to help.