Chapter 3: Suggestions to Help
I guess I'll know that things are getting better when I've figured out how to function with the way life is now and found something I enjoy to look forward to.
I find it helpful to have an outside observer reflect back to me what they are hearing me say so that I can hear myself and become more self-aware.
If you are concerned about your grief, it may help to start with a check-in. You may wish to record your observations in a journal so that you can revisit them as time passes. This can help you notice if or how your thoughts and feelings are changing.
Although you may find your current thoughts, feelings, and behaviours confusing, it can be helpful to trust yourself and simply be curious about what you are experiencing. Try to notice what activities help you to feel more (or less) comfortable. As you reflect on how your grief is going, you may also want to consider the following questions. Click on each box below to reflect.
Is it getting better, worse, or not changing? Do I feel stuck?
How freely do I engage with my thoughts and feelings about the person who died, their death, and my grief throughout the day?
Am I talking about my loss with the people I am close to? What are they noticing about my grief?
Given my relationship with the person who died, is this what I mostly expected? Is it more (or less) intense than I feel it should be?
Your answers to these questions can provide some important information about how you are doing. If your grief is not changing or is getting worse, it may indicate that you are having difficulty coming to terms with the reality of the loss and adjusting to life without the person who died.